Grumpy Thursday

Today I'm grumpy. I could go into a host of reasons why this is the case, but they're a bit too personal and probably not all that interesting to anyone who isn't in the self-absorbed position of being pre-tenure in a tenure track job in an English department.

At any rate, I begin with my grumpiness to explain why some days I feel *it* more than others. What is *it* you ask? Lack of racial diversity. I was out and about for the majority of the afternoon, and it wasn't until I got home and flipped on the television that had a documentary about innovative housing solutions in overcrowded cities, like Tokyo, that I saw another Asian face, other than the one staring at me in the bathroom mirror.

So this means that driving to the doctor's office, driving to the restaurant to meet my lunch date, driving to the Verizon store to get a new hand-free set (lately I've become paranoid about cancer and cell phone use--has anyone else heard anything about this? I caught the last part of "The People's Pharmacy" on NPR, which to tell you the truth, reminds me of that NPR parody they do on Saturday Night Live, except that the doctor they interviewed was VEHEMENT about keeping cell phones away from all vital organs (including your brain) so I decided to go buy a new hands-free set because the one I have broke--this is probably too much information but I'm feeling very James-Joycean-stream-of-consciousness mode today).

Where was I?

Oh yes. No Asian faces at Border's bookstore (unless you count the ones on the DVD of House of Falling Daggers, which I bought for the bargain price of $7.99--have always meant to watch it and now I can).

And it felt, today, exhausting not to see other Asian faces. Most of the time it's like water off a duck's back. I simply accept the fact that I live in the South and that as diverse as my college town is, it's simply not as diverse as other places I've lived (San Francisco, Boston, New York City) and that there is just not a critical mass of Asian Americans here. But beyond the lack of Asian American diversity, one of the things that struck me at lunch was that mine was the only racially "integrated" table in the whole restaurant. Now I was eating at Chili's, which I'm not sure means you get more or less racial diversity. But our wait staff was a mixture of white, Latino, and African American. And the patrons seemed to be predominantly white, but with a sizable portion of Latino and African American patrons. But there were no Asian American diners and there were no mixed-race tables--whites sat with whites. Blacks sat with blacks. Latinos sat with Latinos.

And that made me tired, too. Because even if I wanted to keep the theme of segregated seating, I don't have a lot of options in my area (which of my three Asian American friends living here should I call for lunch?), and besides, that's not what I want. I don't want more Asian Americans in the area to create more ethnic enclaves. What I want is more racial diversity and mixing. And I KNOW I'm romanticizing California right now, but it's just that when I last ate at a Chili's it was in San Mateo with my best friend from college and her daughter and there were DEFINITELY mixed tables there and WE were a mixed table and, DAMN IT I'M GRUMPY AND I WISH WE DID MORE MIXING.

Got the grumps? Feel free to share and vent--that's what today's post is all about.